A Brain Fart About Brain Farts

Not my work....but thought it goes exceedingly well with my blog!

Why I Hated Watching Harry Potter Movies in the Theater

I absolutely hated watching the Harry Potter movies in the theater. Don't get me wrong. I am not criticizing the movies. I had a terrible time because of the other people in the theater. They managed to ruin the experience for me in every one of the eight movies. Here is a list of types of people that I hated.




1) The "This is not how it happened in the book" person

There is always one of these guys around. This individual loves to show off his knowledge by pointing out small nuances and differences between the book and the movie. "Harry wasn't wearing a red shirt in this scene, in the book he was wearing a black one!!" Dude no one cares. This is the movie not the book. There will be differences. Shut up and move on!!!






2) The Chatterbox

At the risk of sounding chauvinistic, I must say this person is more often a female than not. Her objective of coming to the cinema apparently is to talk about topics completely unrelated to the movie and only during the movie. The weird part is that she shuts up in the intermission!!!
WHY??? WHY???? Why would you talk when the movie is playing and then shut up later??? And was talking about what you ate in the morning really that important???






3) The Confused Tom

A***hole of the second greatest caliber (will mention the greatest one ahead). This guy doesn't understand squat! At every juncture he will keep asking his friend what is going on in the movie. ITS A HARRY POTTER MOVIE, NOT ROCKET SCIENCE!!! If you don't understand simple things, odds are my friend that you are a dunce!!!






4) The Explainer

Best friend to the confused Tom. Infact I believe every confused Tom has one "Explainer". This person will clear each and every doubt that his confused Tom has and severely annoy everyone around him in doing so. If by chance there is a "this is not how it happened" person nearby its highly likely that a loud debate may erupt confusing the confused Tom even more and perpetuating the cycle even further!!!






5) The Repeater

This is the a***hole of the greatest caliber. The repeater is a misnomer. It is entirely possible that the person can be "pre-peater", which is even worse. This individual loves to learn by rote certain key dialogues like 'Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean it is not real?'
You see no problem in that right? But wait till he/she starts saying stuff out loud a fraction of a second before Dumbledore says it on the screen. Makes me tear my hair out and shout SHUT UP like Arnold Schwarzenegger from Kindergarten Cop!!


Well that's my experience. Hope you had a better Harry Potter co-audience than I did. :)

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